Beginnings and endings are hard.
Writing, like any relationship, begins with great anticipation, a little trepidation and a sense of discovery. There can be false starts until I grow comfortable and get in a groove. At times, things move along smoothly. At others, the going is rough. When characters prove to be intransigent, I walk away. Sometimes there’s a trial separation. But, hopefully, I learn from my mistakes and right what was wrong. I change direction, adapt and grow.
Of course, things don’t always work out, and parting is difficult. A commitment broken. Effort lost. Passion spent. So much of myself gone. It’s an empty feeling, but it is not wasted time. I’m a bit wiser, and a new work benefits from my experience. I even might come back around to an old one, seen now with new eyes.
The hands of the writer’s clock on my wall mark each step of the process: write, write, toss, retrieve, start over, writer’s block, adult beverage, write, submit, revise, revise, publish.
Things of value do not come easily. But when the hurdles have been surmounted and it all comes together, the sleepless nights, the worry, the frustration are forgotten, and like all good relationships, it’s worth it in the end.